The first year couple years of your life are critical. You start learning so many things: smiling, crawling, walking, talking and you even learn how to learn. When you hit about five years old then your really on your way, off to kindergarten and meeting new friends. Without the eye of your watchful parents you really start seeing the world in a whole new way. 9 years later and high school is my way of living. It hit me like a train, all of a sudden I have all this freedom. Being able to leave school property without a note, that was something unheard of in elementary school.
Now I'm moving on, in 2 short months (hopefully) I will be getting out of here and I cant wait. It's not that I don't like high school it is just that I am so fed up with it. I'm ready to 'grow up' and take the next step to post-secondary. This is something that I am completely ecstatic on, I seriously cannot wait! It's a little scary when I think about it, all the responsibility I will have to take on. What stresses me out the most is money! Really not looking forward to that what so ever but it comes what the package, right?
Anyways, what all this comes down to is today is my birthday and so much is changing! On my 5th birthday all I wanted was that new toy, on my 10th it was a scooter and last year it was my license. This year all I can think about is how all my birthday money is going towards next year. Each time I put more in my savings account I get more excited, the sad thing though is in one push of a button it will all get emptied and go towards my schooling. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining but in all honesty, I have never been this stressed out about something ever!
I have to remember that although I am stressed out at this point in my life, I also have a lot to be thankful for today. I have an amazing boyfriend who treats me so good, friends who make me laugh and a family that is always there for me. I also have the classic things to be thankful for, a roof over my head, food to eat everyday, and my own car which most kids my age don't even have.
It blows my mind that I have already gone through 18 years of my life, 18 more years and I'll be 36, that is so crazy! Cause it feels like these years have gone through fast, I remember being younger and waiting for this age to come, waiting to get older, waiting to get taken seriously and here I am still wanting more.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Expectations
Who decides what is expected of others, parents, teachers, friends, ourselves? Who really gets to choose what we should do, how we should do it, and why we should do it? I’m sure many people in their childhood have heard their parents utter the four most painful words ever… “I’m disappointed in you”. In all honesty, I think many children would rather have their parents yell at them and be mad then hearing those words. For some reason those four words have a power like no other, they sure can make a person feel really bad about what they’ve done. I remember having them spoken to me when I was younger, I can’t remember the exact circumstance but I remember the feeling after I heard it. It’s like all of a sudden being attacked with guilt, when you hear them say that sentence to you; you know you really hurt them.
The expectations our parents put on us have a lasting effect. As well as parents, the expectations that teachers put on you can also have a positive and lasting effect. If these expectations are so important, then why is it when we are in grades nine through twelve the only expectations that we truly care about are the ones given to us by our friends. We have to dress the right way, eat the right food, watch the right TV shows, this list of useless expectations is endless. Lately I’ve been thinking about all of these things that are expected of us, whether they are important or not, whether we meet them or not do they truly matter? When it comes down to it, does it truly matter? Finally I figured it out, I had been ignoring it all along, I was too busy paying attention to all these other things that I didn’t see what really mattered- God’s expectations.
When this suddenly occurred to me, I started googling it (becoming more interested in the matter). Finally, I stumbled on this African-American Proverb, “God makes three requests of his children: Do the best you can where you are, with what you have, now”. This says it all. These are God’s expectations summed up in 80 letters, 20 words and 1 sentence. This is what really matters…God is what really matters. Sometimes you may just have to look a little farther to realize it.
The expectations our parents put on us have a lasting effect. As well as parents, the expectations that teachers put on you can also have a positive and lasting effect. If these expectations are so important, then why is it when we are in grades nine through twelve the only expectations that we truly care about are the ones given to us by our friends. We have to dress the right way, eat the right food, watch the right TV shows, this list of useless expectations is endless. Lately I’ve been thinking about all of these things that are expected of us, whether they are important or not, whether we meet them or not do they truly matter? When it comes down to it, does it truly matter? Finally I figured it out, I had been ignoring it all along, I was too busy paying attention to all these other things that I didn’t see what really mattered- God’s expectations.
When this suddenly occurred to me, I started googling it (becoming more interested in the matter). Finally, I stumbled on this African-American Proverb, “God makes three requests of his children: Do the best you can where you are, with what you have, now”. This says it all. These are God’s expectations summed up in 80 letters, 20 words and 1 sentence. This is what really matters…God is what really matters. Sometimes you may just have to look a little farther to realize it.
Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.
-CS Lewis
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